I don’t want to fight… That’s the last thing I want. I know that there are many on the internet who ‘troll’ and like to fight on a person’s blog, regardless of the quality of a person or the blog that was written. I don’t know why, but the anonymity of the internet has allowed for bullying that hasn’t been seen in several years. With this disclaimer, do not do that on this post. You have been warned.
I am the oldest daughter of 10 children. I have a whooping 6 brothers and 3 sisters… I know, mind blowing. Especially when you realize that my oldest kids are the same age as my younger siblings… wow, right? But you would think with so many kids I would be close to my family. Sadly no, it is complicated as most families are.
When I was 8 my life went from constantly being sick, to suddenly better, I had my tonsils removed. Now, this is no shocker, but I had it during the same time as my younger brother, Ben. Now, Ben was about 4 years younger than me. But I loved him more than I did myself. He was inventive, and a hilarious 3 year old. Most 3 year old are. Well, I remembered that due to the lack of other family members nearby and the size of our family, my father was the one who was deemed to stay in the hospital with us as we recovered from the removal of our tonsils. It is hard to say that this was a miracle, a lot of people would disclaim that, but a miracle did occur. That much I believe. My father was sleeping in Ben’s hospital room, when Ben affixiated on blood, and suffocated. He was pronounced dead for 2 minutes, I believe. My father awoke and began performing CPR, and tried to revive him. And he lived! I am happy to say that he was alive! It was a miracle. But the affects of this moment would be felt throughout the remainder of Ben’s life. He would be slower, and unable to perform certain task that most people are expected to do on their own. In many ways I would say (when asked about it), that Albert Einstein didn’t brush his hair, why should my Brother Ben?
He never knew he was different. We didn’t treat him so, but when we went back into public school, quickly I noticed how terrible the other children were. Why would they say what they say? Who were they?! Why push him like that? And tease him how he ran?
It wasn’t until a pediatrician noticed that he wore cowboy boots a lot, that it was affecting his running and walking capabilities. When they fixed that one problem, he was still just like any other person. Yes, personal space was an issue for him, but he was the kind of person, that if a kid harassed him, he would go out of his way and make them cookies. He would talk to everyone regardless of how mean they were to him. He was the most pleasant person around. Think of the most happiest person you know and triple it, had a scoop of goofiness, and full cup of hope, and there is Ben. The most forgiving and helpful person you would know.
Well, this past weekend, tragedy has happened. I can’t even phantom it. He lives in the ridiculous Large but wanna be small town of Logan UT. If you go anywhere in the city, you know what I mean. It is the only city that I know of that has a stop light at every block, but lacks any sidewalks or bike lanes. Heck, I lived in the remote town of Homer, AK, and they were capable of maintaining and having a bike lane, why can’t this major city? Even in MO they have Bike lanes! AND sidewalks!!! But Logan UT does not. If they do have an emergency lane, it is usually only on one side of the street. As you can see, this city is terrible, but my brother lives there to be close to family.
Due to family issues, of no fault of Ben’s, Ben gave up his car to my parents to help out. He lend it to them, saying he could get to where he needed to be by way of bike, he had a head lamp, and would be ok.
At 8:10 p.m. a ‘distracted’ driver entered into the emergency lane and ran over my Brother Ben on his bicycle. As much as the news likes to blame Ben, http://m.ksl.com/index/story/sid/27367350, it wasn’t his fault. They even cited the girl for her ‘distracted driving’ and when asked to see her cell phone, she had promptly deleted all the texts/phone calls in and out of her phone before the cops could see. So, I know this sounds terrible, but I have advised my brother to seek legal help. Right now, they believe with 3-6 months of physical therapy he will be able to walk again. But has this driver even notified her insurance company of the accident? No. My sister who lives with Ben had to notify the insurance company. And will she pay for anything? No. I don’t know when the laws changed, but I believe that ‘pedestrians have the right of way’ includes bicyclist. When asked if he did win anything with this, Ben stated that he wanted to take the money and put in bike lanes, sidewalks, to ensure others do not meet the same fate as he did, or worse.
To end this on a good note, I have never known a bigger miracle than that of my brother Ben. He continues to inspire me, and teach me how to be more humane than anything else that I have ever experienced… ever. His compassion reaches no end. I honestly believe that there is something incredible that he will do with his life, although the remaining of it will be carried on with a limp, he is alive. He is still happy. Not many people can say that they were ran over by a car and lived to walk away, but my Brother Ben can say one thing more… He got ran over by a car, and it didn’t break him, it didn’t destroy his spirit. Makes you reevaluated your life, doesn’t it? It sure does mine.