Many times in life we are faced with birthdays. Most of the time, people, especially women, look on birthdays with disdain. Is it because we aren’t as ‘young as we used to be’? I don’t know. Maybe it was my upbringing, but I look at each birthday as an accomplishment. I survived the odds and have lived another year. I didn’t die, I was able for 365 days capable of breathing, eating and growing. It may not all be physical, but I grew and learned for one more year.
Well, a few years ago I had children. Shock and awe, but I did. And everything that I thought I knew was put upside down. This is difficult for me to say especially since I knew I had all the answers. I honestly believed in my life plan, and knew EVERYTHING that I was going to do. And no one was going to stop me. Now, a lot of people would say that the idea of children would stop them in their tracts, but in all honesty, they have inspired, irritated, and taught me how to be a more gracious, hopeful, and helpful human being. Not to take anything for granted, because you don’t know if you will have it tomorrow. Something as simple as even your health may be gone in a instant.
Without getting too personal about 6 years ago I went in for invasive surgery. I had found that even though I was using a device that prevented pregnancy I had become so. And the result was the lost of not one, not two but three embryos. Although I was okay with that, not happy, but not sad. I had already had two fairly healthy twins, so I found a silver lining in all. But the doctor then warned me about the hazard of becoming pregnant again. It wasn’t deemed impossible, but it was strongly advised against.
It seems when we are told not to do something that we do it, regardless of the complications. I didn’t want her, but I ended up having her. My darling, now 5 year old. She keeps me on my toes, and teaches me more than I could learn in a university any day, although probably the same price. She has a better sense of humor than most paid comedians, and is a 1/4 of their age. But most importantly, the knowledge that she possesses at such a tender age amazes me. She has taught me more about humanity than any right’s advocate has. Simply put, she has taught me, regardless what their age is, what their race, what their economic status, everyone wants to feel accepted, and loved. That doesn’t mean spending millions of dollars, but that does mean, compassion, hope and happiness. And those are free.
So today, I want to say, thank you to my darling. I love you and I hope to learn more from you in the next 5, 10, 50 years. I hope that you will forever hold my hand while we walk to school, and forever call me “Mom”.